I'm taking a break from my severe stomach disorder to tell you about our conquests over the weekend:
We've caught three squirrels in the traps set by the exterminator we hired to get rid of them.
They are no longer with us, though not in the way you think.
I took the traps down off the roof and drove the squirrels 10 miles away to live in a nice park. (Because if the guy removes them, it's $45 a pop. I can do it myself for free.) This is their only chance. If they come back, I will take the trap off the roof and walk 10 feet to the freezer, where I will place them overnite and then put them back on the roof to serve as a warning to other animals that would like to live in our house rent free.
The exterminator guy went up in the attic and said he didn't see any damage, but he did find a dead squirrel. And it was a BIG sucker! Evidently they DO eat rat poison, and I am preparing an attic buffet made of several different kinds.
It's really too bad squirrel soup is not a favorite in these northern climes. I could be making money hand over fist with all the delicious backyard ingredients. I could serve it with homemade crow pie, as the crows are my next target.
Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie? That's the kind of rugged, forthright, forward thinking that builds civilizations. Toss in a few dozen squirrels, and we've got the beginnings of a new sort of miracle...southern style. I should send this to Larry the Cable Guy. If this doesn't embody what "Git-r-done" means, nothing does!
1 comment:
poor squirrels
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